Dear Ms. X,
Let's be honest. We will NEVER be friends. I think you are very okay and my husband is in love with you. It is not even his dirty little secert. He openly yearns for Saturdays and Sundays AND Monday night. I think you are loud and BORING. Sorry but it is true.
Yesterday when he was suppose to be watching our daughter, I found her outside and he was in the cabin chatting about YOU. How good you feel. How fun you are. How he can hardly wait until next weekend when he is planning on being with you!
Please go away.